Top of the morning to you laddies! My name’s Jacksepticeye and welcome back To Job Simulator Hello JobIt.. How are you doing What do you mean I look different? Oh, that’s fucking right baby! It’s Flamingo Shorts time! Fucking… poof I don’t need you anymore I’ve got my Flamingo babies back! Okay, let’s play the game Do you like them? Do you like them JobIt? Yes! I almost felt like I was gonna kick that thing I can kick things all around the place now You ain’t ever gonna stop me I’m free to do what I want Yeah, fuck you especially Yeah, turn around Ah, You wanna go? Yeah, just keep on floating there buddy Directory I hope it has a Map to your house, so you can GO HOME! Alright, we only have one thing left to do Which is to finish off Being an office worker I don’t care what you’re saying..Okay I have flamingo shorts back again I can do what I want Ay…there you are back again (Hello Human) HI (Welcome to an accurate simulation of..Office Worker) Why are you so loud JobIt? HI!! We are doing uh.. Exercise 9 apparently work assignment.. No I wanna mess around for a little bit Who – who’s drinking coffee? Can I have some? I really want some..ok Weeeee! That was- What? Oh sorry I forgot that I threw things at you Aye… Eat this! (Hey! That almost hurt) I.. It wasn’t me, it was JobIt. Ha-Ha Take the fall for me and I’ll tell you where the diamonds are Ok? Fucking (That was a pretty nice throw) Hey! Thanks buddy.. This guy gets it none of the rest of you know me None of the rest of you get who I am Okay, stop this Oh Buddy boy, now I’m fucking ready for the job What are we doing Get to work! Ok..what do you want me to do? (Hey human) Nice earrings (Bot number 10110 is retiring tomorrow, we wanted to get him a parting gift) Ok (Everyone’s pitching in, why don’t you give me something you would like to contribute?) Uhm.. I don’t want to contribute anything What about my party It was my birthday last week and none of you fuckers came Ok… fuck you Janet, I’m not coming to your stupid baby shower Ok uhm here He can have the- (ow) He can have this it sucks (Oh how thoughtful, I’m sure they will PRECIATE it) Oh no problem (Anyway, do you think you could type up a quick card to go with this, it would make it a lot more PERSONAL) You want me to type up a card as well Why don’t I just give you the marrow from my bones at the same time…alright? What is going on with you? What are you.. Why you ain’t got no power… ah ok, Outchelmy Labs alright… Welcome ah (Ringing) Ok WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT IS IT?! (Hello sir, can you get me number 1 please, I need number 1, Line 1 for me You need line 1- I’m not an operator Fuckin- (Thank you very much) Here you go… shut up Alright ah, choose a document template Resume, Thank you note, Get well soon, Birthda- What was it? Retirement Party! Ok Apology Note, Love Lett- A love letter would do! I think that’s good A love letter for retirement guy ok Dear Mr. Retirement Guy, I emotion you so hard You are the GREATEST man that I have ever met I wanna type more You fill me with the joy that I have never been able to fill in myself You are the greatest person I have ever met and I will have your babies Sincerely, Grandma Ok, ah Will this person love my love letter? (Gaah, why is it not 5o’clock yet?) Sorry, I took a screenshot as well apparently… uhm I didn’t mean to do that Can I have my ball back? (That looks good… hand it to me) What does it say? Can you fucking read? There you go (I’ll handle the rest.. thanks for helping out) It’s upside- It’s upside down Excuse me? Aw I’m not gonna get a love letter back now because she has it upside down JobIt Man what am I going to- There is no desk there in real life ok What am I going to do now…oh sorry A little help Fuck! (Things aren’t going too well, we need to find a couple bots we could let go… take a look at these employee evaluations) Ok, I could definitely fire some fuckers Oh jeez, ok that’s a lot of them ok SRS Business INC. job evaluation… Cowboy Bot Do I have to Do we have to fire these people… Human Proof Envelope, Privacy Guranteed Ok uhm Alright What…how many, oh I have to fire (Oh, I was saving up to buy a new hard drive) I’m sorry I’m so sorry Cowboy Bot Cow Bot Come back I love you Maybe you should write out another love letter Dear, Cowboy Bot You ‘re boots really jiggle my jams I also would like to be a cowboy baby Sincerely, Cow lover69 Ok, and Print Cowbot! (Hey what the-) That’s not for you, I meant to throw it over there…I just suck Karen? Where’d she go? Kare- That’s my letter I need that She doesn’t even work here I can’t fire Fancy Bot He was the one who christen me Safari Bot Bandit Bot needs to go Bandit Bot, he’s a bad boy, he’s sketchy and he’s shifty Yea you (Aw it was my first day) Take it There you go…bye It was your first day and your last day cause you’re terrible at your job Take this (In the office, coworkers would converse around the liquid dispenser) (Man can you believe that bot 2272 got fired) (Man that’s NOTABLE) I’m just gonna (Hey Bill did you see the SPORTS EVENT on tv last night) I’m just gonna drink (It was pretty TOUCHDOWN) So what are you guys’ opinion on uh… on babies? Aye, they kinda suck right? Yeah they can’t even do anything, they can’t even hold up their own heads Yeah, I know (Check out these photos of my many children) (Do you bare children Human?) Kinda unfortunate that I was talking about how shit babies were, and now he’s showing me stuff about his kids I’m just gonna sip over here Ah no I can’t have kids, actually I stood to close to a uhm… I stood to close to a fireplace one time and just roasted all my nuts Taking chestnuts roast and an open fire to a new level ay guys Yeah Another day at the office Guys what do you think? Ah no NoOOH Yes This is my child Their name is Sir. Mittens They’re so cute right? (Aw now isn’t that sweet?) That is very SWEET I EMOTION you Did they just hit you? Did they hit you on their way out? I have fucking words, ok I’m typing up a strongly worded love letter right now Dear Guys, who were just here… how dare you run into my friend JobIt? He is the nicest man-bot, I have ever met Sincerely Sorry for being so bad at job Ok well just read this and think the opposite Good Last I wanna hear outta you fuckers Ok what next job do we gotta do? Now what is he saying to me? Hello (Yea hey look, I’ve got some papers I need you to shred, It has to be you for ‘legal’ reasons) ( I don’t really want to get into it) Ok (Here, just look in the case shred everything… just get rid of it) I.I..I gotcha chief… I’m down with that yea uhm… I’m pretty fly This looks like a person shredder Oo this is fun What the.. The books? Our totally legit revenue book Is this Is this a phony bologna book? Is this a- This smells like fraud Is this company committing fraud? I’ll write a strongly worded apology letter about this What’s it say? These numbers are so legit Yep, everything looks good here!… Just don’t look too close This book is so uncooked, it’s raw Why is this book on fire? Careful, Careful Careful, Wooow! Ah Fuck! In ya go Bye, Bye In goes the money too Wait why do we shred money? (See here’s the other thing) What? (I just found out that for insurance reasons, you can’t actually have this much stuff in your cubicle) (So, uh) What? (You’re going to need to get rid of some of that too0 What? No I love job I also got rid of my magic 8 ball already You want to take more from me, why you do this? This how you do me? Ok I hate this fucking mug Oh lord Oh no My cat Imma just shred some cups Nice Wait Why are you here? Mr.Chickety, what did you do to my Did you steal my cup? Did you steal my cup? I’ll wring your neck There we go.. Oh fuck my cup! (That’ll do…turn off the shredder when you’re done) I can’t hear you over the sound of how loud the shredder is, what did you say? What the- (I’m CEO Bot) Kill Bot (Here’s the thing…Boss Bot needs to go away for a while, and you’ve been doing a really GOOD job Thanks (So I’d like to offer you a promotion) What me! (Happy PROMOTION to HUMAN, Happy PROMOTION to you HUMAN) Guys (To HUMAN) Aw guys you shouldn’t hav- (Now make a wish and blow out the candles) Aw you shouldn’t have I mean you should have because I’m awesome but, you shouldn’t have… What is this? Are these tiny condoms (Sorry human looks like there’s not enough cake for you) But (There you go human, I got you a PRESENT) But it’s my fucking party This sucks Is it a new bike? It’s a new car isn’t it? Oh Human Senior Mid-Boss- (Now that you are a boss of this department… I’ll leave it to you to do the honors) Work hard or go home Guys! Guys! I’m the Human Senior Mid-Boss’ Aide Ok The boss has aids That doesn’t sound to good So I get to do the thing, we all get to go home everybody! Don’t all get up at once (Yay!) Yes! I did that, that was me (Woohoo it’s time to go home) Sure is (Good job everyone, let’s get out of here before boss tries to smuggle us) (Woo yea) Hi That’s me, I did that, you’re welcome (Hurray it’s 5 o’clock) Get off the fucking pho- (Work is over) Get off the fucking phone! (Yea I’m gonna have to ask you to come in on SATURDAY) This is the worst time line I wanna Donut Fella, we got Donuts! (You are in time to go to the Museum if you want to I’ll just be hanging out here, while you do whatever you want) I’m gonna get diabetes Yes Yes Yes! Oh my tummy hurts Oh burrito I did it I did them all (You know fully understand what it was like to job) Yeah (That means your time here in the Job Simulator is complete) What?! The Job Simulator (Job Bot, we have done it) (Have found a way to job differently) Job differently? (Stand back Human) Job Mods (This should help with Museum Human Retention) (Give these Job Mods a try Human) What are job mods? I can’t grab Dollhouse Mode, Low Gravity Mode, Bouncy Mode! Oh fuck yea Can I merge them all? I wanna do Store Clerk again Bouncy Low Gravity Dollhouse Mode Ohh Fastacks Fuck yea let’s go Oh I’m gonna job so hard you guys Imma job all over walls Uhm? (Hello Human welcome to an accurate simulation of Convenient Store Clerk) I’m tripping balls!! I.I don’t know about you guys but I have tiny hands What has happened why am I a giant? That wasn’t the mode I picked Low Gravity Bouncy Doll- Oh wait maybe it’s, oh it’s dollhouse mode Oh lord There is a ceiling to everything Oh no OK Look at this- (Let’s open up this shop) This is so weird Everything is so teeny-tiny, look at it’s like a little teeny-tiny dollhouse Ah this is fucking fun Oh bouncy floaty one Everything should just turn on bouncy mode and dollhouse mode Cause it seems like the anti-gravity and the dollhouse at the same time aren’t really working are they? Come here you Come here you You’re so fucking cute Ok These still seem a little big though Wow look at it go, look at all of those particles Wow! I am God! Well, I’m gonna leave this episode of Job Simulator here, I’m gonna come back and play with all the job modes… In another episode and we are going to get crazy with it You know what I’m talking about JobIt, don’t ya? Sure do, Ok Thank you guys so much for watching this episode If you liked it… Punch that like button in the face Like a JOB! Thank you guys, I will see all you dudes… In the next video!